Author Archives: ctinius

Do you love God more than your family?


Since being home my family has had so many moments where I feel like the ground beneath our feet is caving in beneath us. The most evident moment was this past Thursday when my middle brother and his wife came to stay at our house for the night before continuing on to Memphis in the morning. Within two minutes of them stepping in the door way there was bitterness, unrighteous anger, unforgiveness, harsh words, yelling and really anything but physical assault.

I just left the house and started walking our field and started praying then called and texted some people I knew would be fervent in praying for me and my family with out needing me to stay on the phone for an hour giving them all the details. When I got back from praying and went into our house things had calmed down a little. My family was now trying to pray and talk things through and had repentant hearts, but there was still an uneasiness I felt while in my house that even when they said they had worked through things did not leave.

As I laid there trying to sleep I kept asking God to just get rid of whatever was making me uneasy because I needed to rest. Next thing I knew Satan was in my ear telling me that the fights that have been happening and happened Thursday night were my fault. He started telling me I know your family is your weak spot… You love them so much… or so you say… if you love your family you will stop pursuing God…that is all you have to do to stop the pain… if you do this one thing I will leave you and your family alone… you can live life happy and it will be easy.

I just started balling I was torn I have fallen so in love with God and I could not imagine ever being happy of life being easy if He was not apart of it. But at the same time it did not seem easy and happy with Him in it currently either. My walk with Him was awesome and I was genuinely happy; my family did not seem to be however.  I struggled with the idea of me pursuing God was selfish and unfair to my family before I realized I have to love God more than my family. I have to be willing to let them go and lose them if necessary to pursue God with my whole heart.

I pretty told Satan to get lost and that He can do what He wants to my family I will not stop pursuing God. I know that God is so joyful that He has stolen my heart and that my heart is in it to love him. God then brought Psalm 37:4 to my heart, “Delight yourself in the lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” I still have the desire for my family to be protected and in me delighting myself in the Lord; in choosing to love HIM more than my Family, He will protect them and keep us safe from Satan’s attempt to break us apart.

I am so glad that we serve a loving, gentle, merciful God. Our love is what He desires and requires of us… In the words of Katherina, from Shakesprear’s Taming of the Shrew, “Too little payment for so great a debt.”


Fear God or Fear Man


All throughout scripture we are called to fear God.  

Deuteronomy 6:13 “You shall fear only the Lord your God; and you shall worship Him, and swear by His name.”

Deuteronomy 10:12, “And now, Israel, what does the Lord require from you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways and to love Him, and to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul,”

Joshua 24:14 “Now, therefore, fear the Lord and serve Him in sincerity and truth; put away the gods which your fathers served beyond the river and in Egypt, and serve the Lord.”

Psalm 2:11 “Serve the Lord with fear, and rejoice with trembling.”

Matthew 10:28 “And do not fear those who can kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear Him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.”

Luke 12:5 “But I will warn you whom to fear: fear the One who after He has killed has authority to cast into hell; yes, I tell you, fear Him!”

1 Peter 2:17 “Honor all men; love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king.”

We are told all throughout scripture not to fear man and things of this world.

Psalm 23:4 “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for Thou art with me;”

Psalm 27:1 “The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the defense of my life; Whom shall I dread?”

Isaiah 41:10 “Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

Matthew 10:28 “And do not fear those who can kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear Him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.”

Luke 12:5 “But I will warn you whom to fear: fear the One who after He has killed has authority to cast into hell; yes, I tell you, fear Him!”

1 Peter 3:14 “But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. And do not fear their intimidation, and do not be troubled,”

Revelation 2:10 “Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to cast some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and you will have tribulation ten days, be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life.”

And all throughout scripture we are told of the benefits of living in a life that fears God rather than man.

Psalm 111:10 “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; a good understanding have all those who do His commandments; his praise endures forever.”

Proverbs 1:7 “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

Proverbs 19:23 “The fear of the Lord leads to life, So that one may sleep satisfied, untouched by evil.”

Proverbs 28:14 “How blessed is the man who fears always, but he who hardens his heart will fall into calamity.”

(Isaiah 11:3 talks about How Jesus delighted in the fear of God)

2 Corinthians 7:1 “Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.”

Knowing how to walk in the fear of God plays a huge role in our call to love and glorify God.  It is all throughout scripture both Old and New Testament. The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom and knowledge, it is what Jesus delighted in while on the earth, it is protection for us so we will not be touched by evil, it is a blessing, it is the very thing that perfects holiness.

I yearn for only a deeper knowledge and understanding of the fear of God. I do not only want to just live without a fear of man, I also want to live WITH a fear of God. I want to be so aware of how just and holy God is… that nothing will stop me from doing what he tells me to do. I want to have the knowledge and understanding of the fact what God can do to me is way worse than anything man can do to me.  I want to have the fear Christ calls us to have in Matthew 10:28 “And do not fear those who can kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear Him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.” If I truly understood that verse I would not have a fear of man. I do not see how I can have a fear of man and a fear of God at the same time. The way I understand it is you either fear man or you fear God.

The fear of God is the solution to the prayer and cry of so many, the cry that we would no longer fear man. Start asking God for a fear of Him. He will give it to you and it will get rid of your fear of man. The fear of God will show you even more how holy and how glorious God really is. The fear of God will only grow your love for Him. Seek after the fear of God, yearn for it, wrestle for it. The fear of God is such an important role in our lives, our lives that are called to bring glory to God. Ask him for it so you can only grow as a tool used to bring Him glory.

Bye Bye Technology Hello Opened Eyes


So a little more than a week ago my laptop decided to finally say good bye to this world and leave me laptopless. The wierdest thing about that fact is I have not stressed, worried, been sad, or frustrated about it at all. When it died I just left it at home, told my parents we would get a new one at the end of summer, and went back to Lee. I was not phased at all… and that really surprised me.

I started thinking trying to figure out why I was not more distraught about my loss of a laptop. Was I acting this way because I had a picture in the back of my mind of, this is how I am suppose to act if I have had God’s love pouring into as much as it had? Did that make me fake? Was it that I was just in denial and did not have time to think about the downside to not having a laptop? Was I putting on a mask and just not letting myself see my real dissapointment? While I did not think I was being fake, I convinced myself I probably was.  I kept thinking up question after question, I was determined to find the reason to my reaction and why it was like it was.

Now as I look back over that proccess I am thinking, “Why? Why do I have this mind set that I cannot naturally be content, be joyful in every situation?” God has been pouring so much of his love on me, I have desperately been holding on to the truths He has been giving me. Why could I not believe this change was real? I could believe it with my head but I was lacking beliveing it with my heart.  Philippians 4:11-12 says, “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.”  And then in Nehemiah 8:10 it talks about how the joy of the Lord is our strength.

God was letting me live those two versus out when I reacted the way I did to my laptop dieing. Yet I would not accept the fact that I could actually live in that mindset, in that lifestyle. I had to figure out the way I was being tricked. I was determined to find a way this change was not real.  When in reality, the change was simply God allowing me to live and walk in the promises He gave me.

I do not want to fight His promises, I want to just embrace them. I do not want to sit and think of ways that I am being tricked and ways it cannot be real, rather than thanking God and making sure I am completely humbeled and the glory is pointing to Him for this miracle. I want so badly to be aware that it is an answer to prayer when I walk in God’s promises. I want to reach the place where I start praising God through the streets for my heart change, rather than saying there is NO WAY this is real. I do not want to say Jesus’ blood is not good enough, it is the only thing that is.

I am so happy God opened my eyes to the fact that I prayed for a heart change and He has given it to me, and I need to stop trying to deny it. I am now stepping in to the change and embracing it with every ounce of my being rather than doubting it.

If you are seeing yourself act differently and you are trying to figure out why you seem to be reacting “unnaturally” embrace it, thank God for it. If you want that change ask God for it. He is dieing to give it to you just as much as He was dieing to give it to me. His love for me is no greater than it is for you. His heart is burning and yearning to love you as much as you will allow him to. Open up your heart and let him change it.

Tell God thanks


Write a thank you note to God. I dare you to do it. Seriously, be specific, do not just say things like God thanks for touching my life. Tell him the specifics of how He has touched your life. It will be such a good time with God. He will open your eyes to blessing you hadn’t even recognized had happened yet. It is so good.

Eyes opened to the blessing


Since the beginning of this semester, really the last month of fall semester, God has really been convicting me of the attitude that I have towards my teachers and the speakers of Lee’s chapels. Alot of them never received a chance to speak into my life, I would not allow God to give it to them. I would go into to chapel or class, have the mindset of they are boring and do not know what they are talking about, I can teach myself better. I would walk in and put all these shackles on their wrists and not even care that I was doing it. God opened my eyes to how every time I say something similar to that, when I am attacking my teacher, it opens the door for Satan to come into the class room. Once God softened my heart and opened my eyes to this, He turned my heart to one of intercession for the teachers of Lee and the speakers of our chapel.

Now if I do not think I was really challenged by a sermon, or  learned something in a  class room, I go and pray for thew speaker/teacher. I go and pray that God would help them have strength to over come and preach through the walls people have put up, that He would convict the hearts of those putting the walls up,  and that He would open up their eyes like He did mine.

When you go to class or to church this week ask God to soften your heart and give you one of intercession for the speakers and your teachers. Ask God to open your eyes to the chains you have put on them and to bring your heart to a place of repentance. And that he would not only cleanse you of this sin, but He would transform your heart.

Do you see Him?


So the past few days I have really been getting attacked. There has been something different about the attack this time. Usually when I get attacked I stop hearing, receiving, and/or acknowledging God. I usually feel too gross about the fact that I am being tempted or being attacked and I feel like that makes me gross in God’s eyes. This time however, God has been walking with me through it. I have not taken my eyes off him in this attack. I have constantly been wooed by his beauty and glory through this attack.  He has just held me and told me how he knows what it feels like to be attacked, he got attacked, and he is praying for me, He is holding me, He wants to be the one I fall back on for strength.

Guys do not let satan make your eyes turn from him.

There is a underlying strength when you look at God while you are being tempted or attacked. I have felt disappointed, sad, hurt, and several other emotions during this attack. However for the first time ever in a attack I have not felt weary, doubtful, depressed, abandoned and several other emotions I normally do feel. It has made all the difference. God is good guys. He is so so good.

American Idol turned to America’s Idols


I was in the PCSU with several Lee Students, just worshiping God, then my phone went of and I saw it was a twitter and I decided to read for some reason. Most of the time I just ignore the message when it is a Twitter. Anyways, I decided to read the twitter and it said, “watching American Idol.” I thought, “Well that was pointless and a distraction.” Then I heard God say, “Pray for American Idol.”  I just looked at God like He was stupid and said, “God, that makes no sense. Why would I pray for a TV show. It’s not like your fire is going to come down on them.” And I just kept going for like 45 seconds on how that would dumb, and pointless, and I did not want to do it. So after like 40 to 45 seconds of this I finally just say, “Okay God! Do what you want to do.” So I started out half-heartedly praying that God would come move through American Idol.  I was not allowing God to use all of me to pray. He said to me then, “Casey, you asked for me to allow you to dream bigger.” That truth hit home. He immediately changed my heart and I went from allowing God to use my brain and words, to allowing God to pray with my heart, my mind, my soul, my body, I held nothing back from him. Once I allowed him to do this He gave me the next direction for me.

He said pray America’s Idols would break. As I was asking for God’s glory to fall, for chains to be broken, eyes to be opened, hearts to be disgusted with unrighteousness, Marisa started sharing with me what she had been shown by God. What she had been shown by God was the truth that when things are not built on the rock, on the solid foundation, it falls it crumbles. To which at this point Caleb starts singing, “Your River rushes to the lowest place.” The lowest place we can be is separated from God. That is exactly what it is when we have Idols above God, we are  at the lowest place.  So we just asked for the river of God to come and rush through America and make it crumble to be placed on solid ground. (Funny side note about How big God is, how Glorious He is… Caleb started singing, So Good To Me, by Cory Asbury. The lyrics He was singing were, “And you picked me up and you turned me around and you placed my feet on solid Ground. Hallelujah.”) God is bringing all who will come back to a place of redemption, back to what we were created for, and that is bringing Him glory. We were made to bring Him glory. Anything that does not bring Him glory needs not to be said, done, and forgotten and destroyed.