Monthly Archives: March 2010

Do you see Him?

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So the past few days I have really been getting attacked. There has been something different about the attack this time. Usually when I get attacked I stop hearing, receiving, and/or acknowledging God. I usually feel too gross about the fact that I am being tempted or being attacked and I feel like that makes me gross in God’s eyes. This time however, God has been walking with me through it. I have not taken my eyes off him in this attack. I have constantly been wooed by his beauty and glory through this attack.  He has just held me and told me how he knows what it feels like to be attacked, he got attacked, and he is praying for me, He is holding me, He wants to be the one I fall back on for strength.

Guys do not let satan make your eyes turn from him.

There is a underlying strength when you look at God while you are being tempted or attacked. I have felt disappointed, sad, hurt, and several other emotions during this attack. However for the first time ever in a attack I have not felt weary, doubtful, depressed, abandoned and several other emotions I normally do feel. It has made all the difference. God is good guys. He is so so good.

American Idol turned to America’s Idols

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I was in the PCSU with several Lee Students, just worshiping God, then my phone went of and I saw it was a twitter and I decided to read for some reason. Most of the time I just ignore the message when it is a Twitter. Anyways, I decided to read the twitter and it said, “watching American Idol.” I thought, “Well that was pointless and a distraction.” Then I heard God say, “Pray for American Idol.”  I just looked at God like He was stupid and said, “God, that makes no sense. Why would I pray for a TV show. It’s not like your fire is going to come down on them.” And I just kept going for like 45 seconds on how that would dumb, and pointless, and I did not want to do it. So after like 40 to 45 seconds of this I finally just say, “Okay God! Do what you want to do.” So I started out half-heartedly praying that God would come move through American Idol.  I was not allowing God to use all of me to pray. He said to me then, “Casey, you asked for me to allow you to dream bigger.” That truth hit home. He immediately changed my heart and I went from allowing God to use my brain and words, to allowing God to pray with my heart, my mind, my soul, my body, I held nothing back from him. Once I allowed him to do this He gave me the next direction for me.

He said pray America’s Idols would break. As I was asking for God’s glory to fall, for chains to be broken, eyes to be opened, hearts to be disgusted with unrighteousness, Marisa started sharing with me what she had been shown by God. What she had been shown by God was the truth that when things are not built on the rock, on the solid foundation, it falls it crumbles. To which at this point Caleb starts singing, “Your River rushes to the lowest place.” The lowest place we can be is separated from God. That is exactly what it is when we have Idols above God, we are  at the lowest place.  So we just asked for the river of God to come and rush through America and make it crumble to be placed on solid ground. (Funny side note about How big God is, how Glorious He is… Caleb started singing, So Good To Me, by Cory Asbury. The lyrics He was singing were, “And you picked me up and you turned me around and you placed my feet on solid Ground. Hallelujah.”) God is bringing all who will come back to a place of redemption, back to what we were created for, and that is bringing Him glory. We were made to bring Him glory. Anything that does not bring Him glory needs not to be said, done, and forgotten and destroyed.

God is bringing everything together

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God is so good guys! HE has been bringing all of the revelations that He has been giving people and showing us how they fit together and it is astounding. I thought about attempting to write it out (and I will, but it won’t end up on the blog) There is so much intertwined and it is in how it is intertwined that is strengthened!

Ya I… Ya…

He is Good.

Whore No More

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Tonight a group of us got together just to worship God and take delight him and also to let him delight in us and pour into us.  Caleb, who was leading worship started singing a song that said, “I belong to you…  You have bought me…  I am yours.” God brought the story of Hosea to my heart so I opened Hosea and started reading, and Hosea 1:2 says, “When the Lord first spoke through Hosea, the Lord said to Hosea, “Go, take yourself a wife of whoredom and have children of whoredom, for the land creates great whoredom by forsaking the Lord.” And about a year ago my mom forwarded an e-mail to me that was an article about a teacher who was talking about how the church has progressed. He started out talking about what the church was like when it first started, but then he got to the church today in America. He was talking about how it has become more like a business and worries about the numbers and money then the people. When he said this comment a girl in the class raised her hand and said, “I thought the church was the body.” and He was just kind of like ya… that is what I have been talking about this entire class… The church is suppose to be the body but we have turned it into a business. And the girls responds, “When a body becomes a business doesn’t that make it a prostitute?”

Christ has married a prostitute church. He has married a whore. We have been make children of whoredom. We have been living in the flesh and in the world and teaching our children to do the same. We have been living in a life that has forsaken the Lord.

Hosea 14:7, “They shall RETURN and dwell beneath my shadow; they shall flourish like the grain; they shall blossom like the vine; their fame shall be like the wine of Lebanon.” We are returning to Christ. We are leaving our past of whoredom.

While driving back to Lee Misa and I were talking and she was telling me how God reminded her how in the Bible times often a dowry would be paid to the husband of the bride. And she was just asking God what was her dowry to God? What was good enough? And God just told her it was her! She was her own dowry! She was good enough! And she re-spoke that to me tonight as I told her all of what I just said above. And God MESSED ME UP right then. Because I was still a whore when I was the dowry and it was still good enough for him! Even while we were WHORES we were good enough to be our own dowry.

So about thirty minuets passes and God is just breaking me. I am crying and just amazed at the fact I am NO LONGER A WHORE!!! God married me through that. Cory another kid at Lee got up and started sharing his testimony over spring break and God continued to download more stuff on this topic into me. He told me I can still where my white wedding dress down the aisle. I do not have to walk in the shame of who I was, who I am not anymore, on my wedding day with Him my dress gets to be white.

Then about 45 seconds- 3 minutes later( I really am just pulling that out of thin air I have NO idea how long it was) He reminds me of how we have been going around campus talking about how God is taken back by us. He cannot stand the glance of our eyes. He is so enthralled with them. And he told me I have been enthralled with your eyes even while you were a whore. And now, now that you are righteous, pure, cleansed I cannot look at your eyes I just get so taken back by them. When I leaned over to Misa to tell her that God had just told her how pure her eyes were and was speaking that to her!!!

Next Cory who is still sharing his testimony says the words, “As we were getting ready for the Big day…” And I look at Misa and go, “They were getting ready for their wedding day!” And then Misa responds with, “It was at the wedding where Christ turned the water into wine, and the wine is what satisfied the family and friends of the couple getting married. Christ wine is what satisfies our family and friends!”

Then God gave me a picture of a bride standing at the doors at the end of the aisle and he showed me how there is NOTHING standing in the way of the bride getting to the husband. Her eyes are locked on him and aisle is clear for her to go to him. All you do from there is get closer to him… You just have to say yes to his marriage proposal.

Then God told Misa how the rose petals you walk on down the aisle are the blood and the wine that drip of Christ’s lips and they are caressing our feet. Then God reminded me how He washes His disciples feet. It is with the blood and the wine that drips of Christ’s mouth that He washes our feet!

Even cooler though is as your going through all of this God is not just down there waiting for you to reach him. God is our DAD so He is walking us down the aisle! He is with us as we walk down the aisle to him! Then he is also the person we trust everything with and so he is our Maid of Honor He is with us in our time of preparing for the wedding too. He walks with us through EVERY aspect of our wedding day!

After God showed myself and Misa all of this I was telling Holly, another girl at our school, what He showed us. At the end she told me how it was not always a dowry given in Bible times though, there was often a bride price too. God had been telling her how he gave EVERYTHING as his bride price. He gave EVERYTHING so He could marry us.

Then later I was telling Caroline all of what God has shown now several of us, she took me back to the story in Exodus 33 where God said (verse 3), “Go up to a land flowing with milk and honey; but I will not go up among you, lest I consume  you on the way, for you are a stiff-necked people.” She was telling me how God would not go with them because He knew He would get so disgusted so raged by the things they would do that He could not go with them with out destroying them. (verse 4)When the people heard this disastrous word, they mourned, and no one put on his ornaments.  Prostitutes wear so much and so many ornaments. It was when the people of Israel took of their ornaments and turned from their way of prostitution that God said to them (verse 14) “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”  We have laid down our life of whoredom married into righteous and God’s presence goes with us and He gives us rest.

When I got back to my dorm Sharon came up to me and was telling her some of what God did in her that night and at one point she saw a veil being put over her face. And she said to God, “No, Lord, I want you to remove the veils that blind me.”  And He said to her, “Sharon, this is your wedding veil.”

It is so fun for me to see how God gave me that first part of this revelation at the very beginning of the night and He just took and showed me how big He is, how good He is. He gave so many people parts to throw into this revelation and He just continued to add to it through the ENTIRE night. He used so many people to put the puzzle together too. He is so good.

Last night was one huge marriage ceremony and honeymoon. It was absolutely awesome! He delights in us. Let Him delight you. He is yearning so deeply to be able to delight in you, let him.

Universally Intimate?

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While I was home I was walking our property on Friday with my nephew Will and we came across this tree COVERED in thorns (I have seen them before but I had forgotten about them). These thorns are HUGE around 5 inches long and extremely strong and sharp. I could throw them at another tree and they would stick into the tree like darts in a dart board.  I would not be surprised at all if these were very similar to the thorns that made up Christ’s crown. I walked away from that tree just smiling and in awe of God’s love for me. He revealed how much He loves me in that moment. He used the thorns on the tree to remind me of the greatest form of love. Him dying on the cross for me.

I am so blessed to be able to love Him back. It is so great. He loves me. He has his breath taken out of him when I look him in the eyes. I’m not the only one in love in this relationship. He loves me more than I love him. I am so blessed to have him as a lover.

He wants to be everyone’s lover. Even cooler though, as He is being lover to all that will let him, He does not lose ANY intamacy with each person. I do not understand. But I am so thankful so grateful. I love, I worship, I serve a God that is Universally Intimate.

Clearing my mind so I can sleep…

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So I was laying in bed trying to sleep but the idea of righteousness was running through my head and I could not get it  to slow down enough for me to sleep.  So I decided maybe if I got out my bible and just opened up my heart to receive whatever God downloaded I could crawl back in bed and go to sleep.

I started thinking about how in Romans 3:23 it says, “For all have sinnED and fall short of the glory of God.” I have never noticed that it says all HAVE SINNED, rather than ALL SIN. I started doing some research and the word sinned used in this passage in Greek is, hamartano, which is basically the past tense version of the word sin(hamartema). I realized once we sin that prophecy has been completed… We can chose to step into the next prophecy given to us. We do not have to continue in our flesh and sin that is behind us.

Galations 5:13and 16
“For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another…  …But I say walk by the spirit and you will not gratify the flesh.”

We can step out of the prophecy of we are sinners and step into a prophecy of living in righteousness, living in the spirit. Why on earth would we not.

It was really encouraging for me to have God show me all this because I do not live in the life of sin anymore… I have overcome that with Christ’s help. Now that I have tasted what God is like… now that I have seen what it could look like if I were to walk in the spirit. Now I am so disgusted with sin.  Every time I am even tempted it grosses me out. I do not even have to do it… Even the thought the temptation I am just like WHAT?! Ew. No. WHAT!  It is so cool for me to see how God is training me up. How God is equipping me. How he is teaching me the meaning of righteousness.

I apologize if this blog didn’t make any sense… I am just trying to clear my head so I can go to bed… so there are probably alot of unfinished thoughts in this one. BUT I am tired and I think I have cleared my head enough to sleep and its two in the morning so good night.

Spring Break Craziness

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This past month I have developed a hunger for God that I have never known even existed. I am daily yearning to go deeper in my understanding of what it means to worship God / pray 24-7… I have been asking God to show me how to glorify him in all that I do. To break the idea that I have, that I need to set apart “God time.”  rather than just letting him walk with me through every moment of my day.   (Granted… I still find time during my day to set apart as a time to rest in him and enjoy him.)

This Spring Break I definitely had opportunity, after opportunity, after opportunity to Glorify God in all I do and to experience Him while living every aspect of my life. I don’t think I stopped moving,mainly working on school with a few other random things involved,  from 8 in the morning till 11:00 at night, every day.  Once it would hit 11 I would put away my school books, put some worship music on and tell God I just needed to rest in him and let him give me strength to keep going. And He never failed to provide the strength, the rest, the joy, the energy, and more. I always seemed to have more energy than you would think possible.

As I would do school through out the day I would always be tempted to procrastinate and then do a half hearted maybe… probably not even that… job on it later. I just wanted to continue to listen to worship music, journal, read the bible, and rest. But God had other plans for me and my heart.

Since God has started revealing himself more and more to me He has made me aware of the fact, I have not been giving school the effort it deserves. Most of the time I do things as quickly as I can and my standard is, will it get by with a B or an A. God wrecked me on this. I shouldn’t be okay with a half hearted attempt, but in everything I should give all that I have to give. If I can sit at God’s feet for hours on end and let him pour into me, but I do not pour it back out into my everyday life(which right now school is a HUGE part) then I am being blind to, and wasteful with several of the blessings He has laid in front of me. The fact I am at Lee right now is a blessing and an opportunity many do not have. I am being lazy and flat out sinning when I shove school to the side and procrastinate(for the sake of procrastinating).

One thing I have found though… when I go into my homework with the attitude of, I am doing this to GLORIFY God, this is my act of worship to Him, I get done faster or in the same amount of time(most of the time… occasionally it takes me way longer but I don’t notice how quick time is going by in those situations) I did when I was giving a half hearted attempt. I am coming out with way more passionate and better quality results..

God really does bless you when you enter into every situation you go through with an attitude and a heart that is longing to worship him in every way possible.

He is good and He is worthy of our worship 24/7.